Pirates vs Hipsters

In a land of offensive stereotypes about power rangers and hipsters, I thought I would do my own little anti-type.

Bike: Japanese Retro, shaft drive a bonus, low seat and lightweight. Old and well used. Currently a scruffy 1992 XV535.

Custom Work: Luggage rack, topbox with extra reflective tape. Heated Grips, wider mirrors, fender extensions.

Helmet: White HJC Ben Spies race rep, because animal skulls and damask patterns are cool. And it’s light, cheap, and exhibits Sharp stars.

Eyewear: Black plastic glasses, ironic that they came from specsavers bottom shelf and have a real proscription. Pinlock and Yamaha race rep sunstrip on clear or smoke tint visor.

Facial Expression: Hidden behind chinbar and foggy mask.

Facial Hair: Apathy beard, shaving is time I could be fixing bike or drinking coffee.

Clothing: Black, mostly gore-tex or equivalent, mix of textiles and leather. Occasional stick-on retro-reflective star. Tough and utilitarian touring kit.

Footwear: Retro high-leg motorcycle boots, from Altberg so fully armoured and CE certified

Accessories: flame pattern buff, spare visor

Tattoos: None, due to chronic indecisiveness.

Bitch: Filthy redhead, has battlecry of ATGATT, missing some kit…

Average ride: Twenty miles down back lanes because through town is being dug up / full of traffic / infested with imbeciles, inevitably a social call or to the supermarket.

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